40...

Ah, the number 40. Some people who turn 40 are freaked out, some people who have 40 credit cards and all the bills that go with it don't like that number, and then it could be the number 40 is the luckiest number. For me, the number 40 symbolizes the amount of weight I have lost as of today. and even though I have gone clothes shopping, and I am still the same damn size...and everyone says "OMG! You losing weight". For all those people who say that, I challenge you to draw me a map of WHERE THE HELL IT WAS LOST FROM CAUSE I STILL LOOK THE SAME!!!! (Ok, sorry about that rant! LOL!)
So, to turn it into a positive, I take the number that I saw on the scale on Wednesday, and I think back to September 22 when I stepped on the scale and bursted into tears. I was never that heavy, I was never no light weight, and the last time I was a size 6 was when I was 5 years old...but that number plays over and over in my head (ok, I will only share that number once I am done losing all my weight) but for now, take it as a OMG its a huge number. So, back to what I was saying, I take that original number and I cringe, but it keeps me trucking. It keeps me saying no Helena, no cupcake or no yummy, delicious coffee roll from Dunkin Donuts, or no Helena, no 3rd plate of dinner! (Oh yeah, bring it on! I would eat 3 plates like it was my profession!) So, its a challenge every day, but I do it, and I do it for myself, not for anyone. So, I felt the need to vent, in a happy way to be proud of myself to say, Yes, I lost 40 pds, but in a bad way cause I don't know where it went! LOL!!!!